¨Lifting up His eyes, then, and seeing that a large crowd was coming toward Him, Jesus said to Philip, ´Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?´ He said this to test him, for He Himself knew what He would do.¨
I was reading John the other night, and this passage really stuck out at me. At this point in the year, I´ve completed almost 5 months in Guatemala, and to be honest, world, it´s definitely been a series of ups and downs- sometimes more downs than ups. Fleas, parasites, semi-abusive family situations, elderly people that can´t afford to feed themselves-- don´t exactly lend themselves to an easy adjustment... In the midst of it all, I´m sometimes tempted to feel hopeless, like God has left me, or I´ve strayed from God´s will or something like that, but this passage points out what a lie all of that is.
Peter was surely wondering the same thing, and when JC asked him how they could feed the growing crowd, it wasn´t because He didn´t know. He created the people, created the desire in their heart to hear Him speak, brought them to Himself on the hill that day at lunchtime- He knew they would come and He knew they´d be hungry.
Sometimes I act like I think Jesus doesn´t know where lunch will come from; like my future is some unsolved mystery- I have no idea why I´m here or what this year in Guatemala is preparing me for, and I convince myself that surely if III don´t know, the God of the universe must share that uncertainty. But this passage shows that God knows (and has known since He created me) where lunch will come from ((a huge awesome miracle, by the way)) and how my life story will unfold.
The very next thing that follows in the book of John is Jesus walking on the water towards the boat where the disciples were shaking in their boots at a huge storm that suddenly hit. In the middle of the scariness, Jesus walked toward (not away from) the disciples in the most impossible of ways, and said, ¨It is I, do not fear.¨ In the middle of the storm, the mess, the confusion that is this year, Jesus is coming toward me, and has known all along what the end (and the journey TO the end) will look like.
Take courage, friends- God is big, and always has a plan for us for lunch.
PS: After my google image search, I am majorly craving PB&J.